During the recent elections, there was lots of talk about the 47% that pay no federal income tax. The 47% have been portrayed as freeloaders or slackers that don't want to pay their fair share. Is this an unfair portrayal? Just who are the 47%, and what are their financial circumstances?
I work as a tax return preparer and have used the tax prep software utilized by the firm I work for to map out some scenarios to show just how fair or unfair this portrayal is. The earnings used in these hypothetical situations are realistic approximations of what people actually earn in today's economy.
Let's start with the situation that perhaps illustrates best this contention: that of retirees. Our hypothetical retired couple has income from Social Security and a modest pension. Under my scenario, this couple could have yearly Social Security benefits equalling a total of $28,000 and collect $20,000 annually from the pension and still owe no federal taxes. That's an annual income of $48,000, tax-free! Why is it tax-free? Because these people have paid into Social Security for some 30 + years and have already paid taxes on that money. For this reason, Social Security benefits are usually untaxable. Now let's assume that one of our hypothetical couple is blind. They could then take in a additional $1450 and still owe no tax.
Now let's consider a young adult, working a job that pays the Illinois minimum wage of $8.50 per hour, working 40 hours per week, while attending college full-time. This person would have annual earnings of $17,680. Let's say that this person has taken out student loans and is paying $5000 per year in tuition with the loan money. This student/worker would owe no federal tax and would actually get a refundable tax credit of $1000.
Take the same young adult and assume that he/she is unemployed, but still attending college. Maximum unemployment benefits for a single person in Illinois are $388 per week, for an annual total of $10,088, assuming the maximum 26 weeks of unemployment benefits. This person could earn approximately an additional $18,000 in wages and still owe no federal tax.
Here is another scenario. A wage earner has been laid off from his job and has exhausted his unemployment benefits. He borrows money from family member to start his own business. He works hard to make the business a success, but loses money on the venture for the first few years, as happens often with new businesses. This person owes no federal tax.
When considering the 47%, a lot of people only think of the single mothers struggling to raise fatherless children and getting big refunds because of Earned Income Credit. 1,488,984 tax returns claiming this credit to offset any taxes, resulting in a net tax liability of $0, were filed in 2009, the last year for which statistics are available. This is out of a total 140,494,127 tax returns filed in 2009. This means that 10% of all eligible taxpayers got a refund of nothing or a refundable credit of more than they paid in.
These provisions were put into the federal tax code to try to improve the lot of the less fortunate in our society.
Sources:
Illinois Department of Employment Security
www.ides.illinois.gov
The United States Social Security Administration
www.ssa.gov
Internal Revenue Service
www.irs.gov
Ultra Tax CS 2011 Tax Software
Thomson/Reuters Tax and Accounting
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Income Tax Update
With the elections a week away, there is a lot of talk of tax reform. No matter who wins the presidential election, it will not be an easy road.
The Joint Committee on Taxation, a nonpartisan congressional group that works with House and Senate tax writers has recently released a study that includes their recommendations for tax reform. It is independent of any proposals made by either Obama or Romney. It would lower tax rates, but at the expense of some big tax breaks.
Perhaps the most important recommendation made by the committee is the elimination of all itemized deductions. This means that write-offs for mortgage interest, charitable contributions, medical expenses, property taxes, etc. would be eliminated. All taxpayers would have to take the standard deduction.
The proposal would also eliminate preferential tax rates on capital gains and qualified dividends. This income would no longer be taxed at 15%, but would be considered ordinary income, subject to regular tax rates.
Interest on state and local bonds would now be taxed. This would apply to all bonds sold after 2012. Existing Municipal bonds would be covered under a grandfather clause, and would remain tax-free.
AMT (Alternative Minimum Tax) would also be repealed. All of these proposals assume that the Bush era tax cuts would lapse after the 2012 tax year, and would peg rates at about 1 to 1.5 % less than the pre-Bush rates. Also assumed is that the child tax credit and earned income credit requirements would remain as they are now. Exclusions for retirement plan contributions and employer-paid health insurance would also remain untouched. Also, the tax savings generated by this plan could be used for deficit reduction, but at the expense of the 1% to 1.5% decrease from pre-Bush tax rates.
It will be interesting to see what happens tax-wise after the elections. Expect big changes.
Tax changes for 2013:
The Social Security wage base will increase to $113,700, a $3600 increase over the 2012 figure. This is the amount of earnings that are subject to withholding for Social Security. The employer's rate of 6.2% will remain the same, but the employee's current withholding rate of 4.2% will probably go back up to the previous rate of 6.2%. Again, this applies only to the first $113,700 of wages. Earnings above that amount are not subject to Social Security withholding.
Medicare withholding will remain at 1.45% of all compensation for both the employer's and employee's shares. However, single filers earning over $200,000 will be subject to a 0.9% surtax. Married filing jointly filers will also be subject to the same surtax if their earnings exceed $250,000. The surtax does not affect the employer's Medicare rate, and self-employed workers will also be subject to the surtax.
Social Security benefits will increase 1.7%. This increase is pegged to the inflation rate.
The maximum contribution to 401(k) plans will increase $500, to $17,500. The maximum contribution for workers older than 50 years will remain at $23,000. The maximum allowable contribution to IRAs and Roth IRAs will also increase $500, to $5500, with an extra $1000 catch-up contribution allowed to people over 50.
The above information is paraphrased from the October 26, 2012 edition of the Kiplinger Tax Letter.
The Joint Committee on Taxation, a nonpartisan congressional group that works with House and Senate tax writers has recently released a study that includes their recommendations for tax reform. It is independent of any proposals made by either Obama or Romney. It would lower tax rates, but at the expense of some big tax breaks.
Perhaps the most important recommendation made by the committee is the elimination of all itemized deductions. This means that write-offs for mortgage interest, charitable contributions, medical expenses, property taxes, etc. would be eliminated. All taxpayers would have to take the standard deduction.
The proposal would also eliminate preferential tax rates on capital gains and qualified dividends. This income would no longer be taxed at 15%, but would be considered ordinary income, subject to regular tax rates.
Interest on state and local bonds would now be taxed. This would apply to all bonds sold after 2012. Existing Municipal bonds would be covered under a grandfather clause, and would remain tax-free.
AMT (Alternative Minimum Tax) would also be repealed. All of these proposals assume that the Bush era tax cuts would lapse after the 2012 tax year, and would peg rates at about 1 to 1.5 % less than the pre-Bush rates. Also assumed is that the child tax credit and earned income credit requirements would remain as they are now. Exclusions for retirement plan contributions and employer-paid health insurance would also remain untouched. Also, the tax savings generated by this plan could be used for deficit reduction, but at the expense of the 1% to 1.5% decrease from pre-Bush tax rates.
It will be interesting to see what happens tax-wise after the elections. Expect big changes.
Tax changes for 2013:
The Social Security wage base will increase to $113,700, a $3600 increase over the 2012 figure. This is the amount of earnings that are subject to withholding for Social Security. The employer's rate of 6.2% will remain the same, but the employee's current withholding rate of 4.2% will probably go back up to the previous rate of 6.2%. Again, this applies only to the first $113,700 of wages. Earnings above that amount are not subject to Social Security withholding.
Medicare withholding will remain at 1.45% of all compensation for both the employer's and employee's shares. However, single filers earning over $200,000 will be subject to a 0.9% surtax. Married filing jointly filers will also be subject to the same surtax if their earnings exceed $250,000. The surtax does not affect the employer's Medicare rate, and self-employed workers will also be subject to the surtax.
Social Security benefits will increase 1.7%. This increase is pegged to the inflation rate.
The maximum contribution to 401(k) plans will increase $500, to $17,500. The maximum contribution for workers older than 50 years will remain at $23,000. The maximum allowable contribution to IRAs and Roth IRAs will also increase $500, to $5500, with an extra $1000 catch-up contribution allowed to people over 50.
The above information is paraphrased from the October 26, 2012 edition of the Kiplinger Tax Letter.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Battle of the Pony Cars: Shelby GT500 vs. Camaro ZL1
For about 45 years now, the Ford Mustang and the Chevrolet Camaro have battled head-to-head for the pony car market. It started in the late 1960's with the Shelby GT Mustang and the Camaro Super Sport. Today the tradition continues with the Shelby GT500 and the Camaro ZL1. (MOPAR fans, this is not about you.)
Car and Driver and Motor Trend magazines recently conducted side-by-side comparisons of the two cars, with similar results. Both magazines tested the two cars on the street, the drag strip, and the racetrack, and documented the results. Which car did they give the highest rating to? Read on and find out.
The cars tested by the magazines were a 2013 Shelby GT500 and a 2012 Camaro ZL1. Both cars were similarly equipped with supercharged aluminum block V8 engines, 6 speed manual transmissions, Goodyear Supercar G2 tires, and multi-mode traction systems with launch control. The similarities end there, however. The GT500 features a dual overhead cam V8 with 4 valves per cylinder, while the ZL1 has a pushrod-type V8 with 2 valves per cylinder. The Shelby comes with a solid live rear axle while the Chevy has a multilink independent rear suspension.
The engine in the Ford Shelby GT500 is rated at 662 horsepower at 6500 RPM with maximum torque of 631 FT/LBS at 4800 RPM, making it the most powerful production V8 in the world. It displaces 5.8 liters, or 355 cubic inches. The car is capable of a 3.5 second 0 - 60 MPH time from a dead stop and will run a quarter mile in 11.8 seconds at 125 MPH. Ford advertises that the car will exceed 200 MPH, but 189 MPH is the best that could be coaxed out of it by the Car and Driver testing staff. Curb weight of the vehicle is 3882 pounds.
The Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 engine has a horsepower rating of 580 horses at 6100 RPM. It develops 556 FT/LBS of torque at 3800 RPM. Displacement is 6.2 liters, which translates to 376 cubic inches. The ZL1 will go from 0 - 60 in 3.8 seconds, and does a 12.1 second quarter mile at 118 MPH. Top speed is 181 MPH. At 4118 pounds, the ZL1 outweighs the GT500 by more than 200 pounds.
As seen in the quarter mile times above, the GT500 is dominant on the drag strip. It also has a slight edge on the racetrack. The ZL1 corners better, but the GT500 makes up for it with faster acceleration on the straightaways. Driving on the street is a different story, however. The writers from both magazines found the ride of the Shelby to be too stiff, and the engine simply too brutish for everyday street use. The Camaro, by contrast, rode smoother, shifted easier, and was a lot quieter. The Camaro's advantage here is due to the multilink rear end and a better balance between front and rear weight. The weight distribution front/rear for the ZL1 is 53%/47%, compared to the GT500 with a weight distribution ratio of 57%/43%.
The base price of the Shelby GT500 is $56,295, and the Camaro ZL1 has a base price of $54,995. The as-tested versions list the ZL1 at $57,265 for Motor Trend and $56,795 for Car and Driver. The GT500 tested by both magazines lists at $63,080. Both cars require 91 octane premium unleaded fuel. The GT500 gets 15 MPG in the city, and 24 MPG on the highway. The ZL1 is rated at 14 MPG in the city, and 19 MPG on the highway.
So which is the better car? For the drag strip, the brute power of the GT500 can't be beat. But the ZL1, with its smoother ride, relative ease of operation, and "an exhaust that sounds like a 6.2 liter bong hit" according to Motor Trend, merits the better all-around rating from both magazines. I have not personally driven either car, but would love to find out for myself someday.
Update:
Road & Track magazine also recently tested both of these cars, with similar results. The cars tested by Road & Track listed at $57,590 for the Camaro ZL1 and $65,075 for the Shelby GT500. Since Road & Track is a more performance-oriented magazine, they gave the GT500 a slight edge overall.
Sources:
"Flat Out! Will the Shelby GT500 Go 200 MPH as Advertised?" , by Aaron Robinson
Car and Driver Magazine, August 2012
"The Mega Mustang and the Killer Camaro Battle For Control of the Street In...Superponies", by Michael Austin
Car and Driver Magazine, August 2012
"Title Fight - There Can Be Only One Musclecar Champion", by Scott Evans
Motor Trend Magazine, October 2012
"Horseplay on the Raceway", by Shaun Bailey
Road & Track Magazine, September 2012
Car and Driver and Motor Trend magazines recently conducted side-by-side comparisons of the two cars, with similar results. Both magazines tested the two cars on the street, the drag strip, and the racetrack, and documented the results. Which car did they give the highest rating to? Read on and find out.
The cars tested by the magazines were a 2013 Shelby GT500 and a 2012 Camaro ZL1. Both cars were similarly equipped with supercharged aluminum block V8 engines, 6 speed manual transmissions, Goodyear Supercar G2 tires, and multi-mode traction systems with launch control. The similarities end there, however. The GT500 features a dual overhead cam V8 with 4 valves per cylinder, while the ZL1 has a pushrod-type V8 with 2 valves per cylinder. The Shelby comes with a solid live rear axle while the Chevy has a multilink independent rear suspension.
The engine in the Ford Shelby GT500 is rated at 662 horsepower at 6500 RPM with maximum torque of 631 FT/LBS at 4800 RPM, making it the most powerful production V8 in the world. It displaces 5.8 liters, or 355 cubic inches. The car is capable of a 3.5 second 0 - 60 MPH time from a dead stop and will run a quarter mile in 11.8 seconds at 125 MPH. Ford advertises that the car will exceed 200 MPH, but 189 MPH is the best that could be coaxed out of it by the Car and Driver testing staff. Curb weight of the vehicle is 3882 pounds.
The Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 engine has a horsepower rating of 580 horses at 6100 RPM. It develops 556 FT/LBS of torque at 3800 RPM. Displacement is 6.2 liters, which translates to 376 cubic inches. The ZL1 will go from 0 - 60 in 3.8 seconds, and does a 12.1 second quarter mile at 118 MPH. Top speed is 181 MPH. At 4118 pounds, the ZL1 outweighs the GT500 by more than 200 pounds.
As seen in the quarter mile times above, the GT500 is dominant on the drag strip. It also has a slight edge on the racetrack. The ZL1 corners better, but the GT500 makes up for it with faster acceleration on the straightaways. Driving on the street is a different story, however. The writers from both magazines found the ride of the Shelby to be too stiff, and the engine simply too brutish for everyday street use. The Camaro, by contrast, rode smoother, shifted easier, and was a lot quieter. The Camaro's advantage here is due to the multilink rear end and a better balance between front and rear weight. The weight distribution front/rear for the ZL1 is 53%/47%, compared to the GT500 with a weight distribution ratio of 57%/43%.
The base price of the Shelby GT500 is $56,295, and the Camaro ZL1 has a base price of $54,995. The as-tested versions list the ZL1 at $57,265 for Motor Trend and $56,795 for Car and Driver. The GT500 tested by both magazines lists at $63,080. Both cars require 91 octane premium unleaded fuel. The GT500 gets 15 MPG in the city, and 24 MPG on the highway. The ZL1 is rated at 14 MPG in the city, and 19 MPG on the highway.
So which is the better car? For the drag strip, the brute power of the GT500 can't be beat. But the ZL1, with its smoother ride, relative ease of operation, and "an exhaust that sounds like a 6.2 liter bong hit" according to Motor Trend, merits the better all-around rating from both magazines. I have not personally driven either car, but would love to find out for myself someday.
Update:
Road & Track magazine also recently tested both of these cars, with similar results. The cars tested by Road & Track listed at $57,590 for the Camaro ZL1 and $65,075 for the Shelby GT500. Since Road & Track is a more performance-oriented magazine, they gave the GT500 a slight edge overall.
Sources:
"Flat Out! Will the Shelby GT500 Go 200 MPH as Advertised?" , by Aaron Robinson
Car and Driver Magazine, August 2012
"The Mega Mustang and the Killer Camaro Battle For Control of the Street In...Superponies", by Michael Austin
Car and Driver Magazine, August 2012
"Title Fight - There Can Be Only One Musclecar Champion", by Scott Evans
Motor Trend Magazine, October 2012
"Horseplay on the Raceway", by Shaun Bailey
Road & Track Magazine, September 2012
Friday, October 12, 2012
Tara's Story
It is always difficult when a family member passes away. It is especially hard when the family member is a child, more so when the child is unborn. I know. It happened to our family.
The year was 1998. My stepdaughter, Angie was pregnant with her first child. Everyone in my family was excited, including me. I was going to be a grandfather! An ultrasound revealed that the child was female. I was soon to have a granddaughter to love (and spoil!) She would be called Tara Rose. We went through the usual pre-birth activities, like purchasing baby items and clothing and getting ready for the impending arrival.
It was October and Angie had carried the baby almost to term. But one day she awoke in severe pain. Angie called her obstetrician, who told her to come to see him immediately. She was given an examination and ultrasound, which revealed the worst news possible: Angie had suffered a spontaneous abortion, commonly called a miscarriage. The baby was dead. We were devastated.
Angie was immediately hospitalized. Tara needed to be delivered before the miscarriage endangered Angie's health. The whole family gathered at the hospital, and a delivery room was made ready. We waited in her hospital room while Angie was taken away to be attended to by the doctors. What should have been a joyous occasion was turning into one of the worst days of our lives. Soon a nurse entered the room and told us that the baby was out. They would be bringing Angie and Tara back to the room soon.
The hospital took a very sympathetic and compassionate attitude toward the miscarriage. For the sake of closure, we were allowed to see and hold Tara. Everyone there took a turn holding her while photographs were taken. Scissors were produced so that locks of hair could be clipped for keepsakes. When it was my turn, I held her lifeless little body and looked at her face. She looked like an angel. I felt an intense sadness as I contemplated what would never be.
The doctor told us that Tara's umbilical cord had somehow become kinked or obstructed, cutting off the supply of vital nutrients.
We said goodbye to Tara on a brisk and windy fall day. She was placed into a tiny white casket and buried in Rock Island's Chippiannock Cemetery, in a special section reserved for babies and children. Angie knelt down and gently touched the lid of the casket before it was lowered into the ground. My heart ached for her.
It took a while, but we all moved on. Angie later had two more babies, both girls. Alex, now 12 years old, and Ella, 7 years old, are bright, beautiful, happy, and healthy. Angie had special prenatal care while carrying both of them in order to prevent a repeat of what happened with Tara. Alex and Ella miss the older sister they never knew, and like to visit the cemetery to place flowers, toys, and balloons on Tara's grave.
Tara's birthday is October 17. She would be 14 years old, in her first year of high school and embarking on all the adventures that high school brings. I sometimes wonder what she would be like. Would she be pretty? Smart? Athletic? Popular? One thing I know for sure: she would be loved.
The year was 1998. My stepdaughter, Angie was pregnant with her first child. Everyone in my family was excited, including me. I was going to be a grandfather! An ultrasound revealed that the child was female. I was soon to have a granddaughter to love (and spoil!) She would be called Tara Rose. We went through the usual pre-birth activities, like purchasing baby items and clothing and getting ready for the impending arrival.
It was October and Angie had carried the baby almost to term. But one day she awoke in severe pain. Angie called her obstetrician, who told her to come to see him immediately. She was given an examination and ultrasound, which revealed the worst news possible: Angie had suffered a spontaneous abortion, commonly called a miscarriage. The baby was dead. We were devastated.
Angie was immediately hospitalized. Tara needed to be delivered before the miscarriage endangered Angie's health. The whole family gathered at the hospital, and a delivery room was made ready. We waited in her hospital room while Angie was taken away to be attended to by the doctors. What should have been a joyous occasion was turning into one of the worst days of our lives. Soon a nurse entered the room and told us that the baby was out. They would be bringing Angie and Tara back to the room soon.
The hospital took a very sympathetic and compassionate attitude toward the miscarriage. For the sake of closure, we were allowed to see and hold Tara. Everyone there took a turn holding her while photographs were taken. Scissors were produced so that locks of hair could be clipped for keepsakes. When it was my turn, I held her lifeless little body and looked at her face. She looked like an angel. I felt an intense sadness as I contemplated what would never be.
The doctor told us that Tara's umbilical cord had somehow become kinked or obstructed, cutting off the supply of vital nutrients.
We said goodbye to Tara on a brisk and windy fall day. She was placed into a tiny white casket and buried in Rock Island's Chippiannock Cemetery, in a special section reserved for babies and children. Angie knelt down and gently touched the lid of the casket before it was lowered into the ground. My heart ached for her.
It took a while, but we all moved on. Angie later had two more babies, both girls. Alex, now 12 years old, and Ella, 7 years old, are bright, beautiful, happy, and healthy. Angie had special prenatal care while carrying both of them in order to prevent a repeat of what happened with Tara. Alex and Ella miss the older sister they never knew, and like to visit the cemetery to place flowers, toys, and balloons on Tara's grave.
Tara's birthday is October 17. She would be 14 years old, in her first year of high school and embarking on all the adventures that high school brings. I sometimes wonder what she would be like. Would she be pretty? Smart? Athletic? Popular? One thing I know for sure: she would be loved.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Presidential Trivia
Every four years, the people of the United States vote to elect a president, the highest elective office in the land. Unless you have been hiding under a rock, you are no doubt aware that 2012 is an election year. On November 6 , we will elect the man who will lead us for the next four years.
We have had many great presidents, and some not so great ones. There are many interesting facts (and myths) surrounding the office. Some of these facts are well-known and some are not. Following are some of the more interesting and strange facts about the various presidents. I will be presenting this trivia in a question and answer format. Read on and you might learn something.
How many presidents have we had?
Although Barack Obama is considered the 44th president, 43 men have held the position. Grover Cleveland is the only president elected twice to non concurrent terms. He served as president from 1885 - 1889 and again from 1893 - 1897. He is therefore considered to be the 22nd and the 24th presidents.
Who was the only president elected by unanimous proclamation?
George Washington was unopposed and elected unanimously to his first term.
Did George Washington really have wooden teeth?
No. Although he did lose most of his teeth to gum disease, his dentures were made of lead, ivory, or human or animal teeth, not wood.
Who was the first president to wear pants?
John Quincy Adams, the 6th president, was the first president to wear long pants to his inauguration. Prior to him, all the presidents wore knee-length breeches.
Did any presidents own slaves?
Yes. George Washington and Thomas Jefferson both owned slaves. Jefferson had six children by one of his slaves, Sally Hemmings. Jefferson emancipated (freed) the entire Hemmings family, and Washington's will freed the slaves he owned upon his death, but not the slaves owned by his wife.
Has any president ever killed a man?
Yes. Several presidents have served in the armed forces during wartime and have most certainly killed enemy soldiers or Native Americans in battle. Andrew Jackson, the 6th president from 1829 - 1837, killed Nashville attorney Charles Dickinson in a duel in 1806 after Dickinson insulted Jackson's wife. Grover Cleveland, the 22nd and 24th presidents, personally pulled the lever that sent two convicted murderers to their deaths by hanging when he was Sheriff of Erie County, New York, before he was president. Presidents have also ordered the deaths of certain enemies of the country, and are therefore at least indirectly responsible. President Harry S. Truman ordered the dropping of two atomic bombs on Japan in 1945, resulting in more than 100,000 deaths. And more recently, President Barack Obama ordered and oversaw the operation that resulted in the death of terrorist Osama Bin Laden.
Have we ever had a "gay" president?
Possibly. James Buchanan, the 15th president, from 1857 - 1861, never married. During his political career in Washington, D.C., he lived with Alabama Senator Rufus B. King. There were many rumors and even some letters suggesting that they were more than just friends. Andrew Jackson called Rufus King "Aunt Fancy" or "Miss Nancy", and the two were sometimes referred to by other politicians as "Buchanan and wife". Both men's private correspondences were burned by their relatives, and evidence of their homosexuality is at best inconclusive.
Who was the youngest president? Who was the oldest?
Theodore Roosevelt was the youngest man ever to assume the office. He was 42 years old when he succeeded to the post upon the death of President William McKinley in 1901. John F. Kennedy, at 43 years old, was the youngest man elected president. When he was assassinated at age 46, Kennedy was also the youngest president to die. Ronald Reagan was the oldest president. He was 77 years old when he left office.
Which president lived the longest?
Gerald Ford was the longest lived president. He was 93 years, 5 months old when he died in 2006. Ronald Reagan was a close second. He was 93 years, 4 months old when he died in 2004.
Which president served for the shortest period of time?
William Henry Harrison, the 9th president, died after only one month in office. He was president from March 4, 1841 - April 4, 1841. He delivered the longest inaugural address in history, at two hours, on a cold, rainy day. He developed pneumonia two weeks later, and never recovered. He was the first president to die in office.
Who served the longest term?
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, the 32nd president, was elected to four terms, and served from 1933 - 1945. He died three months after his fourth inauguration. After his death, the 22nd Amendment to the Constitution was enacted. It limits presidents to two terms of office.
Have presidents hidden physical infirmities or illnesses from the people?
Yes. At the beginning of Grover Cleveland's second term, in 1893, he had secret surgery performed to remove a malignant tumor from his jaw. The public did not find out about this operation until 1917, nine years after his death. In 1919, during his second term, Woodrow Wilson suffered a stroke that left him debilitated for five months. During this time, his wife made decisions for him. Wilson's decision to veto the Volstead Act, which enforced prohibition and the Eighteenth Amendment, was probably made by his wife. As with Cleveland, the public did not find out about Wilson's stroke until after his death. Few Americans at the time knew that Franklin Roosevelt was paralyzed during his entire tenure as president. He suffered a bout of Polio in 1921 that left him unable to walk or use his legs. John F. Kennedy was in poor health during his presidency. He suffered from Addison's Disease, which is characterized by the body's inability to produce adrenaline, and he had to take steroids to combat the condition. He also had Osteoporosis. These ailments were kept from the public.
Who was the only unelected president?
Gerald Ford, the 38th president, from 1974 - 1977. Ford was appointed vice president by President Richard Nixon in 1973 to replace Vice President Spiro Agnew, who was forced to resign for tax evasion and accepting bribes. In 1974, Ford ascended to the presidency when Nixon resigned over the Watergate affair, making Ford the only president never elected either president or vice president.
What presidents were related to to other presidents?
John Quincy Adams, the sixth president, was the son of John Adams, the second president. Benjamin Harrison, the 23rd president, was grandson of William Henry Harrison, the 9th president. Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th president, and Franklin Roosevelt, the 32nd president, were distant cousins. Theodore Roosevelt was the uncle of Franklin Roosevelt's wife, Eleanor. And George H. W. Bush, the 41st president, is the father of George W. Bush, the 43rd president.
How many presidents have been impeached?
Two. Andrew Johnson, the 17th president, was impeached in 1868 after he tried to dismiss Secretary of War Stanton without Senate approval. William Clinton, the 42nd president, was impeached in 1998 for perjury related to a sexual harassment suit. Both men were acquitted.
Have any presidents died on the same day?
Yes. John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, the 2nd and 3rd presidents respectively, both died on July 4, 1826, the 50th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence. James Monroe, the 5th president, also died on the Fourth of July, in 1831.
What presidents held public office after their terms as president?
John Quincy Adams was a U. S. representative from Massachusetts for eighteen years after he left the presidency. After leaving the White House, Andrew Johnson was a U. S. senator from Tennessee for eleven years. And William Howard Taft was named Chief Justice of the Supreme Court in 1921, seven years after he served as president.
How many presidents got married while holding the office?
Three. After John Tyler's wife died in 1842, while he was president, he remarried while still in office. Grover Cleveland was a bachelor when he was first elected in 1884. During the campaign, he was accused of fathering an illegitimate child. He took responsibility and agreed to support the child, but refused to marry the child's mother. He later married Frances Folsom, the daughter of his law partner. She was also Cleveland's ward. She was twenty-one years old at the time. It was the only wedding ceremony to actually take place in the White House. Their child, Esther Cleveland, was born during his second term, in 1893. Esther was the only presidential child actually born in the White House. Woodrow Wilson's first wife died from kidney disease during his presidency. He remarried while still president.
Who was the only president to resign?
Richard Nixon resigned the presidency in August 1974 when the Watergate scandal made it impossible for him to effectively manage the office.
Sources:
The World Almanac and Book of Facts, 2012 Edition, World Almanac Books, 2012
Don't Know Much About the American Presidents, by Kenneth C. Davis, Hyperion Books, 2012
We have had many great presidents, and some not so great ones. There are many interesting facts (and myths) surrounding the office. Some of these facts are well-known and some are not. Following are some of the more interesting and strange facts about the various presidents. I will be presenting this trivia in a question and answer format. Read on and you might learn something.
How many presidents have we had?
Although Barack Obama is considered the 44th president, 43 men have held the position. Grover Cleveland is the only president elected twice to non concurrent terms. He served as president from 1885 - 1889 and again from 1893 - 1897. He is therefore considered to be the 22nd and the 24th presidents.
Who was the only president elected by unanimous proclamation?
George Washington was unopposed and elected unanimously to his first term.
Did George Washington really have wooden teeth?
No. Although he did lose most of his teeth to gum disease, his dentures were made of lead, ivory, or human or animal teeth, not wood.
Who was the first president to wear pants?
John Quincy Adams, the 6th president, was the first president to wear long pants to his inauguration. Prior to him, all the presidents wore knee-length breeches.
Did any presidents own slaves?
Yes. George Washington and Thomas Jefferson both owned slaves. Jefferson had six children by one of his slaves, Sally Hemmings. Jefferson emancipated (freed) the entire Hemmings family, and Washington's will freed the slaves he owned upon his death, but not the slaves owned by his wife.
Has any president ever killed a man?
Yes. Several presidents have served in the armed forces during wartime and have most certainly killed enemy soldiers or Native Americans in battle. Andrew Jackson, the 6th president from 1829 - 1837, killed Nashville attorney Charles Dickinson in a duel in 1806 after Dickinson insulted Jackson's wife. Grover Cleveland, the 22nd and 24th presidents, personally pulled the lever that sent two convicted murderers to their deaths by hanging when he was Sheriff of Erie County, New York, before he was president. Presidents have also ordered the deaths of certain enemies of the country, and are therefore at least indirectly responsible. President Harry S. Truman ordered the dropping of two atomic bombs on Japan in 1945, resulting in more than 100,000 deaths. And more recently, President Barack Obama ordered and oversaw the operation that resulted in the death of terrorist Osama Bin Laden.
Have we ever had a "gay" president?
Possibly. James Buchanan, the 15th president, from 1857 - 1861, never married. During his political career in Washington, D.C., he lived with Alabama Senator Rufus B. King. There were many rumors and even some letters suggesting that they were more than just friends. Andrew Jackson called Rufus King "Aunt Fancy" or "Miss Nancy", and the two were sometimes referred to by other politicians as "Buchanan and wife". Both men's private correspondences were burned by their relatives, and evidence of their homosexuality is at best inconclusive.
Who was the youngest president? Who was the oldest?
Theodore Roosevelt was the youngest man ever to assume the office. He was 42 years old when he succeeded to the post upon the death of President William McKinley in 1901. John F. Kennedy, at 43 years old, was the youngest man elected president. When he was assassinated at age 46, Kennedy was also the youngest president to die. Ronald Reagan was the oldest president. He was 77 years old when he left office.
Which president lived the longest?
Gerald Ford was the longest lived president. He was 93 years, 5 months old when he died in 2006. Ronald Reagan was a close second. He was 93 years, 4 months old when he died in 2004.
Which president served for the shortest period of time?
William Henry Harrison, the 9th president, died after only one month in office. He was president from March 4, 1841 - April 4, 1841. He delivered the longest inaugural address in history, at two hours, on a cold, rainy day. He developed pneumonia two weeks later, and never recovered. He was the first president to die in office.
Who served the longest term?
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, the 32nd president, was elected to four terms, and served from 1933 - 1945. He died three months after his fourth inauguration. After his death, the 22nd Amendment to the Constitution was enacted. It limits presidents to two terms of office.
Have presidents hidden physical infirmities or illnesses from the people?
Yes. At the beginning of Grover Cleveland's second term, in 1893, he had secret surgery performed to remove a malignant tumor from his jaw. The public did not find out about this operation until 1917, nine years after his death. In 1919, during his second term, Woodrow Wilson suffered a stroke that left him debilitated for five months. During this time, his wife made decisions for him. Wilson's decision to veto the Volstead Act, which enforced prohibition and the Eighteenth Amendment, was probably made by his wife. As with Cleveland, the public did not find out about Wilson's stroke until after his death. Few Americans at the time knew that Franklin Roosevelt was paralyzed during his entire tenure as president. He suffered a bout of Polio in 1921 that left him unable to walk or use his legs. John F. Kennedy was in poor health during his presidency. He suffered from Addison's Disease, which is characterized by the body's inability to produce adrenaline, and he had to take steroids to combat the condition. He also had Osteoporosis. These ailments were kept from the public.
Who was the only unelected president?
Gerald Ford, the 38th president, from 1974 - 1977. Ford was appointed vice president by President Richard Nixon in 1973 to replace Vice President Spiro Agnew, who was forced to resign for tax evasion and accepting bribes. In 1974, Ford ascended to the presidency when Nixon resigned over the Watergate affair, making Ford the only president never elected either president or vice president.
What presidents were related to to other presidents?
John Quincy Adams, the sixth president, was the son of John Adams, the second president. Benjamin Harrison, the 23rd president, was grandson of William Henry Harrison, the 9th president. Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th president, and Franklin Roosevelt, the 32nd president, were distant cousins. Theodore Roosevelt was the uncle of Franklin Roosevelt's wife, Eleanor. And George H. W. Bush, the 41st president, is the father of George W. Bush, the 43rd president.
How many presidents have been impeached?
Two. Andrew Johnson, the 17th president, was impeached in 1868 after he tried to dismiss Secretary of War Stanton without Senate approval. William Clinton, the 42nd president, was impeached in 1998 for perjury related to a sexual harassment suit. Both men were acquitted.
Have any presidents died on the same day?
Yes. John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, the 2nd and 3rd presidents respectively, both died on July 4, 1826, the 50th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence. James Monroe, the 5th president, also died on the Fourth of July, in 1831.
What presidents held public office after their terms as president?
John Quincy Adams was a U. S. representative from Massachusetts for eighteen years after he left the presidency. After leaving the White House, Andrew Johnson was a U. S. senator from Tennessee for eleven years. And William Howard Taft was named Chief Justice of the Supreme Court in 1921, seven years after he served as president.
How many presidents got married while holding the office?
Three. After John Tyler's wife died in 1842, while he was president, he remarried while still in office. Grover Cleveland was a bachelor when he was first elected in 1884. During the campaign, he was accused of fathering an illegitimate child. He took responsibility and agreed to support the child, but refused to marry the child's mother. He later married Frances Folsom, the daughter of his law partner. She was also Cleveland's ward. She was twenty-one years old at the time. It was the only wedding ceremony to actually take place in the White House. Their child, Esther Cleveland, was born during his second term, in 1893. Esther was the only presidential child actually born in the White House. Woodrow Wilson's first wife died from kidney disease during his presidency. He remarried while still president.
Who was the only president to resign?
Richard Nixon resigned the presidency in August 1974 when the Watergate scandal made it impossible for him to effectively manage the office.
Sources:
The World Almanac and Book of Facts, 2012 Edition, World Almanac Books, 2012
Don't Know Much About the American Presidents, by Kenneth C. Davis, Hyperion Books, 2012
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Air Bag and Seat Belt Update
Seat belt use in automobiles has always been a controversial subject. Safety advocates point out that seat belt use can save lives, while opponents of seat belt use consider it an issue of personal freedom. 49 states now have laws requiring seat belt use by all front seat occupants. New Hampshire is the only state that does not, although seat belt use is required there by occupants under the age of 18. As of January 1, 2012, all vehicle occupants in passenger cars in Illinois must wear belts, regardless of where they are sitting in the vehicle. (Governors Highway Safety Association)
Studies have shown that air bags, used in conjunction with lap and shoulder safety belts, can prevent fatalities in the event of automobile crashes. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration estimates that belt use alone prevents 45% of traffic fatalities, air bag use alone can prevent 13% of fatalities, and combined usage can prevent a full 50% of traffic fatalities.
On July 7, 1984, the Federal Motor Vehicle Safety Standard 288 was issued. This standard required all vehicles manufactured after April 1, 1989 for sale in the United States to be equipped with a driver's side air bag Supplemental Restraint System. This standard was amended in 1998 to require passenger side front seat air bags, with the provision that the passenger side restraint can be depowered, or turned off. The depowering provision is due to studies that showed that people of small stature can be injured or killed by air bag deployments.
Many automobiles now come equipped with multiple air bags, besides the required dual front seat air bag systems. Cars now come equipped with side air bags to protect from side collisions instead of just frontal crashes. I recently saw a TV commercial for a car that comes with 11 air bags, including the industry's first rear air bag!
The air bag requirement has necessitated a change in the way people drive, namely in the methods of steering and the recommended hand positions on the steering wheel. The old hand-over-hand method of steering is no longer recommended because air bag deployment can cause serious injuries to a driver with his/her arms crossed in this fashion. Similarly, the previously recommended hand positions of 10 and 2 o'clock have been amended to 9 and 3 'oclock, also due to the possibility of arm injuries during an air bag deployment.
I studied this issue in detail while in my senior year at Saint Ambrose University when I submitted a term paper for my Seminar in Socio-Economics class in the fall of 1978. The summary of that paper that was distributed to the entire class for discussion follows: (In case you were wondering, I got an "A" on both the paper and the class.)
Studies have shown that air bags, used in conjunction with lap and shoulder safety belts, can prevent fatalities in the event of automobile crashes. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration estimates that belt use alone prevents 45% of traffic fatalities, air bag use alone can prevent 13% of fatalities, and combined usage can prevent a full 50% of traffic fatalities.
On July 7, 1984, the Federal Motor Vehicle Safety Standard 288 was issued. This standard required all vehicles manufactured after April 1, 1989 for sale in the United States to be equipped with a driver's side air bag Supplemental Restraint System. This standard was amended in 1998 to require passenger side front seat air bags, with the provision that the passenger side restraint can be depowered, or turned off. The depowering provision is due to studies that showed that people of small stature can be injured or killed by air bag deployments.
Many automobiles now come equipped with multiple air bags, besides the required dual front seat air bag systems. Cars now come equipped with side air bags to protect from side collisions instead of just frontal crashes. I recently saw a TV commercial for a car that comes with 11 air bags, including the industry's first rear air bag!
The air bag requirement has necessitated a change in the way people drive, namely in the methods of steering and the recommended hand positions on the steering wheel. The old hand-over-hand method of steering is no longer recommended because air bag deployment can cause serious injuries to a driver with his/her arms crossed in this fashion. Similarly, the previously recommended hand positions of 10 and 2 o'clock have been amended to 9 and 3 'oclock, also due to the possibility of arm injuries during an air bag deployment.
I studied this issue in detail while in my senior year at Saint Ambrose University when I submitted a term paper for my Seminar in Socio-Economics class in the fall of 1978. The summary of that paper that was distributed to the entire class for discussion follows: (In case you were wondering, I got an "A" on both the paper and the class.)
Passive Restraints - A Cushion of Safety
November 21, 1978
Because of consumerists such as Ralph Nader, and an increasing amount of government regulation, the automobile industry has been practically forced to build safer cars. The result has been not only changes in the structure and design of automobiles, but also the modification of the passenger compartment in order to provide more protection to passengers in the event of an accident. This protection comes in the form of padded dash boards, collapsible steering wheels, and seat belts.
Seat belts are highly effective in preventing fatalities in traffic accidents. However, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reports that only 18.5% of all drivers use their safety belts. This low rate of seat belt usage has led safety advocates to push for the production of a different form of passenger protection - the passive restraint. Passive restraints are devices that automatically protect front seat passengers without any action on their part.
There are presently two types of passive restraints: passive belts that automatically strap in front seat passengers when they close the doors; and air bags in the steering wheel and dash board that inflate upon collision to restrain the driver and passenger from striking the steering wheel, dash board, or windshield.
A recent Department of Transportation study indicates that if air bags or passive belts were installed in all cars, 9,000 out of 47,000 fatalities per year could be eliminated. Citing this study, Department of Transportation secretary Brock Adams announced in July of 1977, that the auto makers will be required to install passive restraints in all new large cars beginning in 1982, in all medium sized cars beginning in 1983, and in all small cars beginning in 1984.
Opponents of a passive restraint mandate, including the auto makers, maintain that passive restraints, especially air bags, need to be tested much more thoroughly before they are made mandatory equipment on all cars. Before leaving office in 1976, Adam's predecessor, William T. Coleman proposed a 400,000 car test fleet to gauge the effectiveness of air bags.
Ralph Nader feels that Adam's plan gives the automobile companies too much time. A devout safety advocate, Nader says that air bag installation should begin immediately in all new cars. Other advocates argue that small cars should be equipped with passive restraints before large cars, since small cars are more vulnerable in crashes.
Adam's mandate gives the auto makers a choice between passive belts and air bags. Since air bags are concealed in the steering wheel and dash board, they don't restrict movement or feel uncomfortable as is the case with passive belts. However, the cost of passive belts is much less than that of air bags. The Department of Transportation estimates that the cost of installing passive belts will be $25 per car as opposed the $112 per car for air bags.
The passive restraint requirement, therefore, raises many questions. Is data on air bag effectiveness sufficient to warrant a mandate or should air bag research be continued? Would passive belts be better than air bags? Should more emphasis be placed on current seat belt systems, even to the point of seat belt laws requiring that drivers and passengers use their seat belts? How does the cost of a passive belt system compare with the cost of an air bag system?
Because of current low seat belt usage, a passive restraint mandate is necessary. However, wishing to avoid a situation like that caused by the 1973 Ignition-Interlock law, which required domestic automobile companies to build cars so that they could not be started unless front seat passengers buckled their safety belts, and which was met with tremendous public rejection and subsequently repealed, the auto makers will probably focus their attention on air bags.
Since air bags aren't as restrictive as passive belts, and will at least offer some form of protection to those that refuse to use seat belts, installation of air bags along Adam's timetable is a must. Allowing the automobile companies until 1982 before they must install passive restraints eliminates the need to redesign automobiles for air bags before they would normally be redesigned. The three year phase-in time for small cars is necessary because air bag systems for small cars are more difficult to design and engineer than for large cars. The lives that air bags will save are more than worth the higher costs of the systems.
Sources:
"Safe at Any Speed?'
Newsweek Magazine, September 7, 1970
"Air Bags: The pressure Is On" by Fred M. H. Gregory
Motor Trend Magazine, October 1974
"The Air Bag: Still Blowin In the Wind" by Fred M. H. Gregory
Motor Trend Magazine, October 1976
"Punching the Air Bag Around" by Ted Orme
Motor Trend Magazine, November 1976
"Air Bags: A Non-Decision" by Ted Orme
Motor Trend Magazine, March 1977
"Adams and the Bag"
Newsweek Magazine, July 11, 1977
"The Half-Safe Car"
The Wall Street Journal, July 20, 1977
"Green Light For Air Bags if Congress Goes Along"
Consumer Reports, September 1977
"Are Air Bags Worth the Trouble? - interviews with Joan Claybrook and Bud Schuster"
U.S. News and World Report, September 26, 1977
"Safety With a Bang" by M. Jordan
Car and Driver Magazine, November 1977
"Ralph's Wrath"
Newsweek Magazine, December 12, 1977
"Air Bag Anti-Climax" by Ted Orme
Motor Trend Magazine, January 1978
"The Quick, The Dead, and The Cadaver Population" by N. Wade
Science Magazine, March 31, 1978
"Seat Belt Usage" by Tony Hogg
Road and Track Magazine, April 1978
"A Conversation With Joan Claybrook" interviewed by Ted Orme
Motor Trend Magazine, August 1978
"How Effective In Preventing Injury Are Safety Belts and Air Bags?"
Road Injury Prevention & Litigation Journal, September 2, 1997
"Seat Belt Laws"
http://www.ghsa.org/html/stateinfo/laws/seatbelt_laws.html September 2012
"The History of Air Bags"
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Breweriana Collecting
Earlier in this blog, I wrote about my beer can collection, and how it had expanded to include just about anything beer-related. My collection includes glasses and mugs, bottles and labels, clothing, hats, signs, mirrors, lights, coasters, and bottle and can openers. I receive these items as gifts, purchase them at yard sales, or trade for them with other collectors. Many of the items are on display in my basement rec room:
A major portion of the collection consists of glasses and mugs. These include tasters and sampling glasses, pint glasses, mugs, steins, and pitchers:
I also have several lights and signs:
The collection includes bottles and labels:
Hats and clothing:
This poster from Belgium depicts the brewing process from the growing of barley and hops to the actual consumption of beer, along with more than 100 beer drinking proverbs:
Some of the other items in my collection:
There are several serving trays.
Coasters from all around the world.
Can and bottle openers.
Toy delivery truck.
Flying Dog Brewery condoms!
Matches and lighters.
Tap handles.
Frank & Louie - the Budweiser Lizards.
Left to right: Olympia radio, Pabst Blue Ribbon coin bank, Miller lighter stand, Olympia paper clip holder, Schlitz can opener, Storz matches.
Full containers!
I am also a member of the Mississippi Unquenchable Grail Zymurgists homebrew club. This activity will be the subject of a future installment of this blog.
Collecting can be a rewarding source of great enjoyment. I have been involved in the collecting of beer cans and beer-related items for more than 40 years, and am constantly adding new items to my collection. There are several organizations for breweriana and beer advertising collectors, but I currently do not belong to any of them.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Fractured Fables
We all remember Aesop’s Fables. These were cautionary tales that impart a
moral, or lesson to be learned. The
following tales all have morals that are slightly twisted or bent. I have also included the famous (or is it
infamous?) “Peter Snake” story, which, although not really a fable,
nevertheless employs the same type of wordplay in the delivery of the punch
line. These stories are guaranteed to
elicit a laugh (or a groan). I hope that
you derive as much enjoyment from the reading of these stories as I get from
the telling of them.
1
Once upon a time, there was a tribe of people living in the
jungle at the base of a mountain. They
called themselves the Trids. The Trids
occupied themselves by mining gold from a mine halfway up the mountain. At the top of the mountain lived an
ogre. When the ogre found out that the
Trids were mining gold from his mountain, he demanded a cut. If the Trids did not give him half the gold
they mined, he would destroy their village.
The Trids liked where they lived, so they agreed. Every Friday, the Trids would trudge up to
the top of the mountain to pay the ogre his share. The ogre would take the gold and then kick
the Trids back down the mountain. One
Friday, a rabbi came traveling through the village while the Trids were busy
gathering the ogre’s share of that week’s gold from the mine. He could see that the people of the village
were distressed and asked them why. The Trids
explained the whole arrangement to the rabbi.
They told him that they didn’t mind giving the ogre half the gold from
the mine, but they were getting tired of being kicked back down the
mountain. The rabbi said that maybe he
could speak with the ogre for them. So
the rabbi took the ogre’s share of that week’s gold and headed up the
mountain. He reached the ogre’s lair and
presented him with the gold. It just so
happened that the ogre was Jewish, so he invited the rabbi to stay for supper. They shared a delicious kosher meal and drank
several glasses of wine. When it came time
for the rabbi to leave, they said goodbye to each other and the rabbi turned to
leave.
“Oh, by the way,” said the rabbi,” why do you always kick
the Trids back down the mountain when they bring you your gold? You didn’t kick me back down the mountain.”
The ogre said, “Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids.”
2
In the Trid village there lived a little boy named
Johnny. Johnny had the misfortune of
being born without arms and legs. He
didn’t even have a body. Johnny was
basically just a head. Johnny attended
school with all the other Trid children.
As Johnny grew older, he began to get interested in girls. At school, there was a girl he liked named
Suzy. One day at school, Johnny told his
best friend, Billy, that he wanted to ask Suzy out on a date.
Billy said,”Johnny, do you think that is wise? After all, you are just a head.”
Nevertheless, Johnny decided to go for it. One day at school he rolled up to Suzy.
(Rolling was how Johnny got around.) He
asked Suzy if she would go out with him on Friday.
“Ooh ick! A head!”
exclaimed Suzy, and she kicked Johnny down the hall. A little worse for the wear, Johnny was
determined to get a date with Suzy. So
he rolled up to her and asked her out again.
Once again, Suzy exclaimed, “Ooh ick! A head!” and kicked Johnny down the
hall. Trids seemed to get kicked around
a lot. By this time Johnny was all
bruised up and black and blue from Suzy kicking him. But he was determined to get a date with
Suzy. He told Billy that he was going to
ask her one more time. Billy did not
think this was a good idea.
“The last two times, she kicked you down the hall.” he said.
But Johnny could not be convinced of the folly of his plan,
so he rolled up to Suzy once again.
He asked Suzy, “Would you like to go out with me this
Friday?”
Seeing the black and blue head, Suzy yelled, “Ooh ick! A grape!” and she squashed Johnny with her
shoe.
“Johnny just wouldn’t listen. I tried to tell him.” said Billy.
“Quit while you are a head.”
3
Suzy loved music. She
loved to sing. One day she heard a piano
concerto on the radio and decided that she wanted to learn to play the
piano. So she talked her parents into
having a piano shipped to the Trid village from across the sea. Arrangements were made, and one day the piano
arrived, although somewhat out of tune due to being jostled about during the
long sea voyage. So Suzy’s father looked
in the Yellow Pages under the listing for piano tuners and saw that there was
one located in the Trid village. His
name was Oppornockity. He gave
Oppornockity a call on the phone and set up an appointment to get the piano
tuned. The next day Oppornockity came to
tune the piano. He set to work with his
tuning forks and soon had the piano in good tune. Suzy happily began her piano lessons and soon
became very good at playing it. After a
few months though, the piano started to get out of tune again. So Suzy’s father once again phoned
Oppornockity to ask if he could come tune the piano once more. Oppornockity’s secretary answered the
phone.
When asked if she could send Oppornockity over to tune the
piano, the secretary said, “That would be quite out of the question.”
“Why?” asked Suzy’s father.
“Because,” came the reply.
“Oppornockity only tunes once.”
4
Gold seemed to be about the only natural resource available
to the Trids. Just about everything the
Trids owned was made of gold. Their
furniture was gold. Their dishes were
gold. Even their silverware was made of
gold. About the only thing not made of
gold were their houses. Their houses were
made of grass. Even the king of the
Trids had a grass house. But since he
was king, his house was bigger than the rest.
He had the only house in the Trid village with an upstairs.
A band of pirates had heard about the Trids and their gold
mine and decided to rob the Trids of their gold. So the pirates raided the Trid village and
went house-to-house plundering all the gold.
The king’s prime minister saw the pirates and ran to warn the king. The king’s throne, of course, was made of
gold. He told the prime minister to hide
the throne so the pirates wouldn’t steal it.
So the prime minister got a group of men together and they carried the
throne upstairs to the king’s bedroom and hid it in his closet.
The pirates soon arrived at the king’s house and proceeded
to loot it. They took all the king’s
gold, except the throne, which was too well hidden for them to find. The pirates left and the king breathed a sigh
of relief. But the throne, being made of
gold, was very heavy and the closet floor gave way under the weight. The throne crashed through the ceiling and
landed on top of the king, seriously injuring him. The prime minister called for an ambulance
and the king was transported to the hospital, where he was placed in traction.
The local newspaper sent a reporter to the hospital, where
he found the prime minister at the king’s bedside. “Will the king be OK?” asked the
reporter.
“He is expected to make a full recovery.” replied the prime
minister. “But he should have
known. People that live in grass houses
shouldn’t stow thrones.”
5
While recovering in the hospital, the king heard fantastic
tales about a giant bird that laid golden eggs, called the Foo bird. The Foo bird was rumored to abide in the land
on the other side of the desert that bordered the Trid village. Anxious to replenish their gold stocks, he
sent his head explorer, Sir Percy, in search of the Foo bird. After an arduous journey across the desert, Sir
Percy encountered a hermit. Sir Percy
asked the hermit if he knew the whereabouts of the fabled Foo bird. The hermit told him he knew where the Foo
bird nested and would lead him to the nest.
But the hermit warned Sir Percy: “If the Foo bird relieves itself on
you, do not wipe off the droppings. If
you do, terrible things will happen.”
So the hermit led Sir Percy to the Foo bird’s nest. The bird was nowhere to be seen. Sir Percy looked in the nest and saw that it
was full of golden eggs. He took several
of the eggs and put them in his backpack.
Just then the Foo bird returned to the nest. Enraged at the theft of her eggs, the Foo
bird took a huge dump that covered Sir Percy in bird droppings from head to
toe. Sir Percy and the hermit beat a hasty
retreat, and once again the hermit warned Sir Percy about the danger of wiping
off the Foo excrement. The two of them headed
across the desert toward the Trid village.
The desert sun was very hot and soon the Foo droppings that covered Sir
Percy began to harden and become crusty.
Again the hermit warned Sir Percy about the dangers of wiping off the
Foo poo.
At length they approached the Trid village. By this time Sir Percy was getting really
uncomfortable, what with the layer of Foo droppings that coated his body. When they came to the Trid River, he could
not stand it anymore. He jumped in the
river, washed the Foo poop off, and was promptly eaten by a crocodile.
“If I told him once, I told him a thousand times,” said the
hermit. “If the Foo shits, wear it.”
6
Note: My late father was fond of telling the following
story, and nobody could tell it like he could, especially after he had consumed
a few cocktails. I have altered it
slightly to fit into the framework of the Trid mythology. – D.L.
There were a lot of snakes in the jungle that surrounded the
Trid village. In fact, the Trid village
was infested with snake pits. One day,
Peter Snake was hissing in his pit.
Peter’s mother was trying to clean the pit, and his hissing was getting
on her nerves, so she said, “Peter, please don’t hiss in the pit. If you must hiss, go outside the pit to hiss.
So Peter went outside the pit to hiss. But his mother could still hear him hissing
so she said, “Peter, if you must hiss, go over to Mrs. Potts’ pit to hiss.”
Peter went to Mrs. Potts’ pit, but Mrs. Potts was not
home. Peter commenced hissing in her pit
anyway. Then Mrs. Potts came home and
found Peter hissing in her pit. “Peter,”
she scolded, “don’t hiss in my pit. If
you must hiss, go to your own pit to hiss.”
This made Peter very upset, and he slithered home to his pit
crying all the way. When Peter’s mother
saw him crying, she asked, “Peter, what is the matter?’
Peter told her, “I went over to Mrs. Potts’ pit to hiss, but
Mrs. Potts was not home, so I hissed in her pit anyway. Mrs. Potts came home and found me hissing in
her pit and told me to go home to hiss in my own pit.”
“That mean old lady!” exclaimed Peter’s mother. “Why, I knew Mrs. Potts when she didn’t have
a pit to hiss in!”
Monday, September 3, 2012
On Collecting Beer Cans
Since the advent of packaged beer in the late 1800's, the collecting of breweriana has been a popular hobby. With the introduction of beer in cans in 1935 by the Krueger Brewing Company of Newark, New Jersey, the first beer can collection was probably begun. But beer can collecting didn't really become popular until 1969, when the St. Louis Globe Democrat ran a story about a local collector. In 1970, a collectors' organization, the Beer Can Collectors of America, was chartered. (The International Book of Beer Can Collecting, Richard Dolphin, Castle Books 1977) The hobby grew in popularity throughout the 1970's, when it seemed that just about everyone had a beer can collection.
I started my collection in 1971, after several of my friends and classmates had started collecting. I had seen their collections and thought it looked pretty cool to display cans in a pyramid configuration. The labels and graphics on the cans were attractive and the cans stacked easily.
My first can was a Coors beer can. An uncle of mine had brought several cases of Coors beer back from a vacation in Colorado and had brought some to a family picnic. I retrieved an empty can from the trash, and my collection had begun.
At first I expanded my collection with cans found by the roadside or from dumpster-diving behind taverns. On family vacations, my dad would purchase local brews from wherever we happened to be, and I kept the empties after he had consumed the contents. I also scoured the trash cans at rest stops, parks, and campgrounds for discarded empty cans. I began to accumulate duplicate trading stock to trade with other collectors, and my collection grew. I also discovered that if you wrote letters to breweries, they would send you empty cans. I accumulated a list of brewery addresses and soon packages of shiny new air-filled cans began arriving in the mail.
As I grew older, several of my friends quit collecting, and I absorbed their collections. When I became old enough to purchase alcoholic beverages, I could buy and consume the beer myself in order to acquire new cans and my collection grew by leaps and bounds.
Today, many craft breweries and microbreweries are selling their beer in cans, and this has become a new source of many interesting and colorful cans, as well as some really good tasting beer!
My collection now numbers 1,730 cans, and is growing all the time. I now collect anything beer-related, such as coasters, bottles and labels, openers, signs, lights, mirrors, glasses and mugs, and hats and clothing. That part of my collection will be the subject of a future installment of this blog.
Here are some views of my collection and some of the more interesting cans:
I started my collection in 1971, after several of my friends and classmates had started collecting. I had seen their collections and thought it looked pretty cool to display cans in a pyramid configuration. The labels and graphics on the cans were attractive and the cans stacked easily.
My first can was a Coors beer can. An uncle of mine had brought several cases of Coors beer back from a vacation in Colorado and had brought some to a family picnic. I retrieved an empty can from the trash, and my collection had begun.
At first I expanded my collection with cans found by the roadside or from dumpster-diving behind taverns. On family vacations, my dad would purchase local brews from wherever we happened to be, and I kept the empties after he had consumed the contents. I also scoured the trash cans at rest stops, parks, and campgrounds for discarded empty cans. I began to accumulate duplicate trading stock to trade with other collectors, and my collection grew. I also discovered that if you wrote letters to breweries, they would send you empty cans. I accumulated a list of brewery addresses and soon packages of shiny new air-filled cans began arriving in the mail.
As I grew older, several of my friends quit collecting, and I absorbed their collections. When I became old enough to purchase alcoholic beverages, I could buy and consume the beer myself in order to acquire new cans and my collection grew by leaps and bounds.
Today, many craft breweries and microbreweries are selling their beer in cans, and this has become a new source of many interesting and colorful cans, as well as some really good tasting beer!
My collection now numbers 1,730 cans, and is growing all the time. I now collect anything beer-related, such as coasters, bottles and labels, openers, signs, lights, mirrors, glasses and mugs, and hats and clothing. That part of my collection will be the subject of a future installment of this blog.
Here are some views of my collection and some of the more interesting cans:
The collection surrounds the pool table in my rec room.
This is the can that started it all.
Beer cans come in many sizes, ranging from 7 ounces to 1 gallon.
The construction of cans has changed over the years. Left to right: cone top, flat top, ring type tab top, contemporary stay-on tab top. Until the late 1970's, most cans were made of steel; all cans are now made of aluminum.
Cans shaped like beer kegs.
Left to right: 7-Eleven once had its own beer brand; Regal Select 6 for 99₵ (cheap beer!);
generic beer.
Sex sells beer! Who would have thought?
Brewed in the Quad Cities. Left to right: Blackhawk Beer was brewed in Davenport, Iowa. The brewery went out of business in the 1950's; Old Tavern beer was brewed by the Rock Island Brewing Company. This brewery also went out of business in the 1950's. The brand was purchased by the Warsaw Brewing Company of Warsaw, Illinois, who brewed it until the 1970's; Great River Brewing Company is located on 2nd Street in Davenport, just off the Government Bridge.
Beers with numbers in their names.
Some beer cans did not contain beer. Left to right: Anheuser Busch canned water for the Iowa flood victims in 2008; Lite can that held a T shirt; Budweiser can containing handkerchiefs; Guinness can held pajama pants.
Bent River Brewing Company cans designed and created by the author. This is the only set in existence.
Another can designed and created by me.
Bix Beer brewed by August Schell Brewing Company, New Ulm, Minnesota for the 1979 Bix Beiderbecke Jazz Festival. The current incarnation of Bix Beer is made and canned by Great River Brewing Company, Davenport, Iowa.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)